It’s Going To Be Okay


Hey, it’s Amanda, and this will be the last post of my story.

In my last post, I told you everything I remember so far about that night, although I still occasionally have flashbacks of new memories. I drank way too much, did a lot of cocaine and had sex for the first time.

I don’t know if the boy who took my virginity was intoxicated or not, although I imagine he was probably drunk and high, too. What I do know is that I was far too inebriated to be able to consent. I don’t remember whether I agreed to have sex, but I know with certainty that if I had been sober, there is no way I would have had intercourse for the first time with some random person at a party. That’s something I lost that night that I can never get back.

I am also now somebody who has overdosed on drugs. It still feels so strange to say that. It is so out of character for me, and something I thought I would never do.

The point of my story was to show that it doesn’t matter who you are, anyone is susceptible to doing drugs if they put themselves in dangerous situations and make the wrong choices. There was so much I or others around me could have done to prevent what happened.

Maybe one day when I’m over the legal drinking age I will want to learn how to enjoy alcohol responsibly, but right now I can’t fathom drinking at all. And I certainly never intend to do drugs ever again.

I learned a lot from my mistakes and know that I will never put myself in that type of dangerous situation again. My hope is that this blog and the information I have attached to it will help somebody else. When it comes to drugs and alcohol, don’t think that one time won’t hurt. Don’t think that overindulging just this once won’t hurt anybody. I’m just lucky that I managed not to hurt anyone else, from what I can remember. What would have happened if I had tried to drive home that night?

If you are reading this, don’t repeat my mistakes. Be careful and plan ahead if you are going to be drinking any alcohol at all. Make sure you have friends with you who will be sober and a safe way to get home. Make sure you have food and water, and that you bring condoms even if you have no intention of having sex. Don’t have regrets, as I do.

But I know I am so, so lucky that nothing worse happened. I am going to be okay.

Thank you for reading this and be careful, guys!